Teacher : Sam, you talk a lot.
Sam : It's a family tradition.
Teacher : What do you mean?
Sam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.
Teacher : What about your mother?
Sam : She's a woman.
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Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him,what virtue would I be showing?
Student : Brotherly love.
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Teacher : "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day
and at the same time."
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Teacher : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father
didn't
punish him ? "
One Student: "Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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Detective Sardar!!
A policeman was interrogating 3 SARDARS who were under training to Become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first SARDAR a Picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first SARDAR answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second SARDAR and asks his, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second SARDAR smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third SARDAR and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The SARDAR looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?" "That's easy," the SARDAR replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

A Sardarji happened to participate in a competition,which was about writing the shortest story. The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. religion, sex, suspense and mystery. Sardarji's turn came after many attempts by others. Sardarji gave a story, which was just one sentence and read "Oh god, my wife is going to deliver a child". Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked the sardarji whether it contained > all the four ingredients !! Sardarji replied affirmatively and gave his > explanation as below: > Oh god : religion > My wife: sex > Going to deliver a child: suspense (whether a girl or a boy) > "Okay.... but where is the mystery ?" asked one of the organizers. > The sardar replied : who is the father ?? > The Sardarji was the obvious winner

Santa and Banta are best friends. Santa has very good job but Banta is jobless. They decide that they'll apply together for the next job. On day of the interview, Santa tells Banta that he will go inside first and answer all questions except the last one and after coming out he would tell Banta all the questions & answers. So when Banta will go and answer there, he will get the Job. So, Santa goes in. EMPLOYER: When did India get independence? SANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947. EMPLOYER: Good. Who is India's Prime Minister ? SANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee. EMPLOYER: OK. What is India's population? SANTA: (He was not to reply last one so he says) Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you Sir. Now he comes out and tells Banta all questions and answers. In a state of nervousness, Banta remembers all answers but forgot the questions. He goes in now. EMPLOYER: When were you born? BANTA: Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947. EMPLOYER: What???? Who is your father? BANTA: It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee. EMPLOYER: Employer is upset now. Are you mad Mr. Banta? BANTA: Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you Sir.

LaLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Laloo becomes PM (if you haven't cut your throat yet, read on) and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Nawaz Sharif. They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes. Laloo then emerges from the room. Reporters clamor for a statement. "Nawazbhai will make the announcement." is all Laloo will say. Nawaz Sharif comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached. The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours. "Sab AKAI - waalon ka kamaal hai," says Laloo. "Who kehte hain na, TV loge to fridge doonga, video khareedein to cellphone free... to hum bhi Nawazbhai se kehe diye: "Aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!"